The Perfectionist

The idea of perfection is such a simple concept yet is so hard to actually interpret.  For each of us, perfect is different and can be ever-changing; one thing may seem perfect to one person but may be the opposite to another or even themselves later on.  Some of us strive for a perfect life, a perfect mind or body or soul; to dream about it, long for it, but ultimately fall short of it.  That is a blessing in a way, to always strive to be better than before.  But it is also a curse, a prison we cannot escape no matter how hard we try.

For me, I believe I am a bit of a perfectionist.  I always try to make sure I am correct, that I show the best possible version of myself.  So I’ve lived much of my life wanting to achieve more and more, trying everything to find where I am best.  But this hurts me more than I let on; I can’t stand making mistakes, being wrong, failing.  It is a terrible pain for me.  I get mad at myself,  I feel as if I’ve committed the ultimate sin to fail at what I’ve set out to do, especially if it is something I’ve been working at extensively.  The most painful part for me is that I want to make sure I’m not overextending my own goals, forcing myself into a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.  The most painful part is that I doubt my own skills, my own knowledge, even if I wholeheartedly believe I am capable or correct.

Because of my own forced perfectionism I tend to lose motivation.  It almost throws me against my own passions and ideals to believe that I can do so much more but won’t even try because I can’t bring myself to face failure.  To me, failure is a necessary part of life just as much as success.  Failure is the essence of success, without the fear of failure or the acceptance of flaws and faults, we can never truly understand the power that success has over our own happiness.  There is an undeniable beauty in coming up and growing from a loss, learning and evolving from failure.  But in my own mind and I’m sure for many others, we cannot face failure because we are too busy striving for an unrealistic perfect moment.

But while personally we may see ourselves as imperfect and flawed, it doesn’t mean others see the same.  It is only when we allow others to see these flaws and these failures will they see perfection.   Because while we have imperfect bodies with flaws and differences and weaknesses, we have wonderful minds and beautiful souls to make up for it.  What makes us perfect isn’t what we do, quite the opposite, it is what we want and what we do after we don’t get it that makes us perfect.  Not only to stay standing after failure but to push through it, what makes us perfect in our own unique ways is just how human we are.  In the end, we must accept that while perfection is unobtainable, it is not without worth in trying to achieve it.  Because while we are sure to stumble and fall and fail, what makes us more perfect is our ability to get up and try again.

To be successful is to fail just as being perfect is being flawed…

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