Being Alone

I like to be alone.

I like the stillness, the quiet, that goes along with solitude.  It calms me when I feel overstimulated and relaxes me when I’m tense.  I can stand living alone and I would much rather be in an open space than a crowded one.  I dislike being in public and doing things while watched.  I get intense anxiety over interacting and socializing.  Even living with others gives me a stranger feeling than if I were to be the only one in a deserted building.  I like to be alone because then I can have a moment for myself, a time where I can collect all of the crazy that is inside me.  I like to be alone so I can understand who and what I am.

I celebrate my achievements alone because I want to.  While every now and again I want to be around others, most of the time I want nothing more than to be away from everything.  Many people would consider this a lonely existence but why does that have to be a bad thing.  A lonely person does not have to be a sad person.  A lonely person can very well be extremely happy to be alone because they are being themselves.  Each of us leads a unique life regardless of how many similarities we have with one another.  As social creatures, we often seem to believe that while we’re all unique, we must also be one and the same.  I think our ability to be so vastly different and contrasting is exactly what makes us all alike.  A person like me who likes and wants to be alone for the majority of his time is still as human as a person who wants to be the center of attention.

But while I have wants, I also have needs.  As a human, I need to be social, I need to be around others for this thing we call life to work.  There is a special something in all of us that requires a societal presence from us.  From the moment we are born to our last day we all seek attention if even in unique ways.  It feels good to be acknowledged, especially for achievements.  But it also feels good to acknowledge others because it helps us understand more about ourselves.  When others succeed, they give off a sense of joy which we can share in.  That empathetic culture is what many of us crave on a daily basis.  So while I often seek a solitary lifestyle, I must force myself to be among others because that is the only real way I can truly be alive.

Because when we can be around others, we can understand ourselves better.  If you cannot fully understand yourself, you will be lost in your own ignorance.  I like to be alone so I can understand who and what I am.  To do that, I must be around others so that they can show me just what I want to know.